"Joshua, Joshua, areyou okay?" My mother was panicking, and I lied and told her I wasreaching for some water and just rolled too far. She got me back inbed, handed me the water, and told me to be more careful. I just toldher Thanks.She walked back out of the room and I turned towards the wall. I hit myhead against the wall and knew I was still Joshua. I hit my headagainst the wall again, and started to cry. Tiffany, where are you. Ihit my head against the wall again and put a crack in the dry wall. Mymother came running in again, but I continued to hit my head against thewall. It took both her and my dad to finally restrain me.In my mother's arms I just cried. "She's gone," I kept muttering tomyself. "She's gone." My mother just held me saying it wasn't myfault. She thought I was crying for Diana. While I truly missed Diana,it was Tiffany I was crying for.Physically, I healed quickly. Emotionally... it took longer, a LOTlonger. You just don't get over losing so. Where is toothpaste supposed to go?" The mouth miss?" That's right, the mouth. Not the sink, the mouth. I want you to geta good, close look at it. Come here, don't be shy, get up nice andclose to it. Is it a gel or a paste?"As I bent my head closer into the sink, Sara placed her hand on theback of my head, holding me there."Paste miss." How can you tell without tasting it?" with that she pushes my headdown into the sink. "Lick it." No!" I blurt involuntarily."What the fuck did you just say!" her voice filling with rage. "Isaid lick it. Lick it until it's gone you mother fucker." exertingpressure to my head.I know I fucked up bad. I pee myself. My tongue rolls forth and Itaste the hard shell of spent toothpaste. Not too bad at all really,I think as I force the old paste loose with my tongue.I turn my head slightly to make eye contact and see if I've doneenough. Immediately Sara looks me square in the eye and spits intothe sink."And that too." she says.I shudder with queasiness at just.
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